Why Does Karl Rove Hate America So Much?

Oh, boy. Another chance to say something good about Detroit. Nothing gets a bigger rise out of a certain element among you loyal Lawners than when I utter anything even faintly complimentary about my hometown. For reasons I may never fully understand, I would incite less mouth-foaming if I sang the praises of Tehran. So, needless to say, I'm gonna go with Detroit.

This morning I see in The New York Times that the revered American political philosopher and arbiter of public ethics, Karl Rove, is accusing Chrysler-Jeep Corp. of delivering a crooked "Chicago-style" payoff to President Obama by sponsoring a halftime ad during the Super Bowl based on the auto industry's robust and dramatic comeback after a federal bailout. I get it. I understand that all of the FMS out there (foamy-mouth syndrome) is about the bailout. Forget that the loan we gave our most important indigenous manufacturing industry didn't come close to putting it on equal footing with the permanent safety-net subsidies all of our global competitors get from their national governments or that the bailout saved thousands of jobs or that it helped stave off a replay of the Great Depression.

The Rush Limbaugh/Karl Rove crowd wanted to see a storied American industry fall into its wormy grave anyway, just to fulfill their dystopian ideology.

Dubya's Architect says the Super Bowl halftime ad starring Clint Eastwood amounts to political advertising for Obama. So this morning I went back to view it again on YouTube. See what you think. Here's Eastwood's script:

It's halftime. Both teams are in their locker room discussing what they can do to win this game in the second half.

It's halftime in America, too. People are out of work, and they're hurting. They're all wondering what they're going to do to make a comeback. And we're all scared because this isn't a game.

The people of Detroit know a little something about this. They almost lost everything. But we all pulled together. Now Motor City is fighting again.

I've seen a lot of tough eras, a lot of downturns in my life, times when we didn't understand each other. It seems that we've lost our heart at times. The fog of division and discord and blame made it hard to see what lies ahead.

But after those trials we all rallied around what was right and acted as one. Because that's what we do. We find a way through tough times, and if we can't find a way then we'll make one.

All that matters now is what's ahead and how do we come from behind. How do we come together? And how do we win?

Detroit's showing us it can be done. And what's true about them is true about all of us.

This country can't be knocked out with one punch. We get right back up again, and when we do the world's gonna hear the roar of our engines.

Yeah, it's halftime, America, and our second half is about to begin.

So what do you think? Is all of that patriotic faith-in-the-nation stuff just a bunch of pro-Obama propaganda? If it is, what's the Republican line instead?

I guess that would be Mitt Romney's line instead: that this country is a bunch of limp-wristed Euro-socialist tit-suckers who need a great big kick in the ass from their betters in the top 1 percent.

I could go with that as a national debate. Great. Fine. Detroit as the Capital of Comeback, Bain Capital as the Oracle of Moral Authority.

Every single time anybody on television says anything positive about America, I believe the Republicans should be given an opportunity under the equal time doctrine to come on the air and talk about what a useless gob of excrement America has become. I think we will be able to vote on those two choices come November.

All right, ladies and gentlemen: foam your engines!

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Jim Schutze has been the city columnist for the Dallas Observer since 1998. He has been a recipient of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies’ national award for best commentary and Lincoln University’s national Unity Award for writing on civil rights and racial issues. In 2011 he was admitted to the Texas Institute of Letters.
Contact: Jim Schutze