Ask a Mexican

Why Does Mexico's National Soccer Team Suck So Much?

Dear Mexican: Can I "Ask a Mexican" why El Tri sucks so much? And why a little stadium in Columbus, Ohio, was louder and more passionate than Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, which seats more than 100,000? Can I also ask why a country that lives and breathes soccer/fútbol always freaks out in Crew Stadium against my beloved U.S.? HAHAHAHAHAHA I want to hear this one. Member of Uncle Chava's Army

Dear Wab: You're not going to get any apologias from me on this one. I've long maintained that the current squad for El Tri is overrated and full of themselves, that Chicharito isn't the second coming of Hugo Sanchez or even Cuauhtemoc Blanco but just an overrated fresa, and that their since-deposed coach José Manuel "Chepo" de la Torre was a disaster. I do find it funny that the United States can only secure a fan base for its soccer squad's games in podunk towns, that U.S. Soccer rarely stages matches anymore in major cities lest its fan base get overwhelmed by the opposing side's followers. What are you so afraid of, cabrones?

Why do rockeros HATE Maná and call them sellouts and clichéd? They fill arenas around the world, are humanitarians and their music is reaching a new generation, while their beloved Molotov, Café Tacuba, etc., can't sell out small venues. Is it because those fans themselves sold out and hang out in trendy cafes in Polanco, Los Feliz, Silver Lake and other hipster hangouts? Latino-lite for life

Dear Wab: Let me darle the question to Josh Kun, a professor at the University of Southern California, author of the excellent book Songs in the Key of Los Angeles and a pioneer in covering rock en español. "Part of enjoying music is hating the music you don't enjoy, right?" the good profe writes. "For a rockero, hating Maná is not really a choice. It's a prerequisite. Maná are rockero kryptonite, the ultimate rockero foil. The sellout scenario doesn't really work with them because Maná never really had underground status. They've long been cologne-doused fresa favorites, inoffensive rock for upturned Polo collars, rock that didn't shake any foundations or transform any genres or piss anyone off or get anyone arrested. So when they get all the Grammy nods for being rock reps, the tried-and-true chavos banda get their outsider values reaffirmed — it's like vanilla winning the best chocolate prize. Plus, they (still!) sound like The Outfield and who wants that as a soundtrack for desmadre?"

Web Head: Why Does Mexico's National Soccer Team Suck So Much?

Web Deck: And why do rockeros despise Maná?

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Gustavo Arellano
Contact: Gustavo Arellano

Latest Stories