4
| News |

Yes, Mary Kay Does Have Its Own Private Police Force

^
Keep Dallas Observer Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

A couple years back I spotted spotting a black SUV with tinted windows and, strangely, "Mary Kay Protective Services" emblazoned on the side. Mary Kay, I found out, does have its own private security company, with officers who carry guns and everything.

What I never figured out was why Mary Kay has its own police force. So, with the pink hordes gathered in Dallas for the annual Mary Kay seminar, and with Harper's takedown of the "pink pyramid scheme" on newsstands, I thought it a worthy to revisit some of questions I've been wondering about. Here's a short list:

What does Mary Kay Protective Services do? Are their guns pink? How many people have they killed? What about with their bare hands? If you get arrested for stealing Mary Kay products, what happens to you in the pen? What percentage of the Mary Kay security force cut their teeth on black ops missions in Central America? Are there helicopters? What about jungle operations? If so, does May Kay manufacture camo face paint? If not, why doesn't Mary Kay manufacture camo face paint and become a military contractor? Is Mary Kay, Inc. actually the Mafia? And was Mary Kay the person actually Marlon Brando?

I've left a message for the Mary Kay PR folks. We'll see if I hear back. I did, by happenstance, recently run into a Mary Kay exec at a playground where our toddlers were playing. I asked about the security firm. He sort of rolled his eyes in a It-really-doesn't-make-since-for-a-makeup-company-to-have-an-armed-police-force sort of way. The whole operation is sort of a relic from the days when Mary Kay Ash was around and felt the need for protection. Their main role now is patrolling the company's manufacturing facilities and looking important in the black, FBI-esque SUVs.

But of course that's what a Mary Kay loyalist would say. I'm thinking there's something more. All of sure of right now is this: Don't fuck with anyone driving a pink Cadillac.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.