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Screw foreplay, these places are downright orgasmic. If, that is, you get aroused milling around a warehouse filled with sports memorabilia, a gazillion Izods, two bajillion clubs, a tennis court, a putting green, a chipping area complete with sand trap and countless driving range stalls equipped with computer analysis, simulated courses and a daily $50 closest-to-the-pin contest. Go in for a casual Sunday afternoon look-see, and by the time you leave it'll be Tuesday. You'll get the usual golf gabfest about two-downs, three-putts, snowmen and worn-out impressions of Carl Spackler. But if you need anything to improve your game or at least a gadget to distract you from how seriously you suck, this is the place. Out front of one Plano location is a Hummer golf cart selling for a cool $12,435. Like the sign says, "This is big."

Duh. We'd say more, but The Dallas Morning News used up all the words with its coverage of the opening.

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