Don't Panic About This Afternoon's Cold Front — Unless You Want to Survive

Any minute now, Dallas will finally get its first significant frozen precipitation this winter. While "accumulation of snow [is] not guaranteed for everyone," according to Dallas weather god and WFAA meteorologist Pete Delkus, Dallas is under a winter weather advisory beginning at 2 p.m, despite temperatures having been near 60 when everyone took their dogs out this morning. The front, Dallas' TV weather people want you to know, is coming, and it's real.

Watching for a narrow band of snow/sleet later this afternoon into evening (4pm-8pm). Doesn't look to be widespread, but a burst of snow is possible especially from DFW to the west and north. Light accumulations possible. Gusty and cold regardless this PM/eve. #wfaaweather pic.twitter.com/g8YgBdOM5u

— Pete Delkus (@wfaaweather) January 11, 2018

Here comes the front! Already thru our western counties. Should be in Metroplex by 11am. Dramatically dropping temps this afternoon and a very strong north winds = brutal cold later today. pic.twitter.com/FZEm6BF2yR

— Jeff Jamison (@CBS11JeffJam) January 11, 2018

Clearly, there are dangerous forces at play here. Any god that would allow us to start the day heading to work in shirtsleeves before punishing those of us with enough hubris to leave our coats at home with a freezing 18 foot walk to our parking spaces is filled with wrath.

9:47 am...DFW may be in the 50s now, but the cold air is advancing to the south. Have your coats ready for this afternoon. #dfwwx #NBCDFWNow pic.twitter.com/2OYjpqJQfA

— Rick Mitchell (@RickMitchellWX) January 11, 2018

Wrath enough that he's already making the ground beneath our feet weep with fear in anticipation of the 30-40 mph wind gusts that are expected to be inflicted on us later this afternoon. 

Did you notice the roads or concrete were wet this morning even though there was no rain or drizzle? This is called ground sweat, and it happens when the ground is cooler than the humid and warmer air above it, which causes condensation to form on the concrete. #wfaaweather #txwx pic.twitter.com/vQHEyrl6RP

— Kyle Roberts (@KyleWeather) January 11, 2018

This is real, and it could be the end, so there's only one thing left to do before heading out for your afternoon commute with Dallas' seasoned winter drivers. Panic.

Sacrifice your favorite desk ornament to Delkus. Buy the white bread, all of it, from the convenience store closest to your office. Call your prepper cousin to see if he has room in his shelter and question everything you've ever learned about global warming. Sure, it could just be Dallas' third mildly unpleasant day this winter, but maybe that's just what they want you to think.

In the East, it could be the COLDEST New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old Global Warming that our Country, but not other countries, was going to pay TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS to protect against. Bundle up!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 29, 2017