My son hates green beans.
Faced with a plate of them, he'll eat a couple, suck on a couple more, tear two or three apart and, ultimately, smash/push his veggies into a pile and pronounce: "Done!"
Unless, of course, I consult the Parenting 101 guide and resort to reverse psychology. (Insert evil grin, rubbing evil hands together.) This is how I get him to eat his green beans:
"I knew you couldn't do it. Only strong boys with big muscles can finish all their green beans. Good try, but you just can't do it. Oh well, maybe next time. Until then, the world needs florists, too."
By the time I leave the kitchen I hear another "Done!!" Of course this time, his plate is empty.
Light bulb!
Terrell Owens isn't, in fact, smarter than a 6th-grader.
How else do you explain him moping around all season, getting jammed
at the line of scrimmage by physically inferior cornerbacks and putting
up the numbers of a mere mortal receiver? T.O., like my son, just needs
some motivation. He needs a foil.
Last week it was Dallas' Only Daily columnist Jean-Jacques Taylor, whose "T.O. is over the hill" diddy
prompted Owens' seven-catch, 213-yard performance against the 49ers.
Punctuated, of course, with T.O. giving JJT the perfunctory "How you
like me now, sucka?!" glare after the game.
Really, it's that
easy. Come on, let's try it. Bashing T.O. is not only therapeutic for
us, it apparently motivates him and, thereby, serves the greater good.
I'll go first:
*Sure T.O. scorched San Francisco, but who couldn't? Cornerback Nate
Clements was giving him an 8-yard cushion most of the game. No way
Owens puts up those numbers against jam coverage. He just doesn't have
the skill or will for that anymore.
*Just watch, Seattle has the
NFL's 31st-ranked pass defense and has allowed six receivers to have 100-yard
games. But no way T.O. has a big day. He shot his wad last week.
*Tomorrow's game isn't on NFL Network and T.O.'s buddy, Deion Sanders,
isn't scheduled for a sit-down this week. Unless he has the spotlight
on him, Owens is just another receiver making just another complaint
about just not getting the ball enough. Yawn.
*And another
thing, T.O. is a petulant, overrated, self-aggrandizing individual who
always puts himself before team. No way is he a good captain. No way
can he ever lead a team to the Super Bowl.
Your turn. - Richie Whitt
