The Calatrava Bridges of Movies

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Maybe--oh, please, God, please, please, prettyplease--this'll be the last item we ever run about the big-screen adaptation of the movie Dallas. I know--you figured the thing was already on Cinemax; that's how long we've been discussing this would-be disaster. Really gonna hate to see it go adios, mofo.

But that's what the New York Post suggested yesterday--a month after Variety reported that its production company was firing the entire cast, save for John "J.R." Travolta; rewriting the script yet again; and pushing back the shoot till January 2007, if that. One insider tells the tab, "it'll be a miracle if this film ever gets made." Oh, really? That's such a stunner.

Probably most bummed about this debacle is Dallas Film Commission director Janis Burklund, who spent months trying to raise private dough so she could offer producer Michael Costigan and New Regency and 20th Century Fox incentives to shoot in Dallas. "Shoot JR in DALLAS"? Aw, leave the poor dead horse alone already. --Robert Wilonsky