Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good -- or at least non-lethal -- lunch for less than 10 bucks.
Milkmaid HJ count: 0 Beer "fuck yeah" count: 3
Should you find your cheap self traveling to The Great North, aka The Nearly Oklahoma, aka Richardson, stop at Haystack Burgers & Barley (100 S. Central Expressway). They opened recently, and they're located in the same shopping center as Alamo Drafthouse.
This place is the perfect Drafthouse pregame. The Drafthouse's R. Kelly Sing-Along will draw you up to The North (there's nothing more sing-along-able than 33 chapters of "Trapped in the Closet," then going right into the perfect one-two punch of "I Believe I Can Fly" followed by "Feelin' On Your Booty") and the burger at Haystack will make you happy you showed up.
I ordered the Down on the Farm burger, which is actually more Regular Cheeseburger Burger than you'd think, based on its name. I would have expected an egg on that. Maybe bacon. Maybe a milkmaid HJ. Their definition of Down on the Farm is cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mayo and mustard for $6.79.
The list of burgers they offer reminds me of Liberty Burger, in that they're all those "specialty burgers." If you like chili on your burger, or avocado, or chipotle mayo and pico de gallo, this is your kind of joint. They also have a build-your-own burger, but watch out for added items like a fried egg (shitchyeah, you should add a fried egg) or bacon bringing your total burger price up. I went with the Down on the Farm because it was the cheapest option. Most burgers here hover around the $8 mark.
My burger was good. It's not my favorite burger in Dallas, but that's just because the patty itself wasn't super flavorful or juicy. I'd put it at an 8 out of 10. The bun was great, the additional items were delicious, the burger was cooked just as I asked and showed up right on time. They've only been open since June or so, so there's time to work on the patty.
If you add a bunch of stuff to it (the barbecue sauce, the chipotle mayo, etc.), you will really love this burger. Add getting local-beer-drunk to that, and you'll love this place even more.
Alternatively, you can save all your burger dollars and spend them on the local brews they have on tap: Velvet Hammer, Local Buzz and Blood & Honey.
They also have a kid menu if you have kid people, and real cloth napkins for you to wipe your stupid kids' faces with.
