Jack Daniel's Whiskey & Cola: Sucks | City of Ate | Dallas | Dallas Observer | The Leading Independent News Source in Dallas, Texas
Navigation

Jack Daniel's Whiskey & Cola: Sucks

Last time I was mixing myself a Jack & Coke, I was so frustrated with the difficulty of the task. I mean, you have find a glass, open a can of Coke aaand a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey all by yourself. Then you have to pour all that in...
Share this:

Last time I was mixing myself a Jack & Coke, I was so frustrated with the difficulty of the task. I mean, you have find a glass, open a can of Coke aaand a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey all by yourself. Then you have to pour all that in a glass? With ice?! "There has to be a better way!"

Jack Daniel's heard my cries and recently released a new product in U.S. markets: Jack Daniels Whiskey & Cola. It's just Jack & Coke already mixed up and bottled for you. It's also 5 percent ABV.

And it sucks.

The taste is fine, if you ignore the aluminum aftertaste, the fact that the proportion of alcohol to cola is exactly what a bartender would serve you at Chili's and the obvious point that no one in recorded history has ever claimed that a Jack & Coke is delicious. Functional? Of course. Delicious?

Not really. I actually thought I liked Jack & Coke until I had it in a bottle without ice. Turns out, I just like ice.

And even if you completely disagree with me up until this point, I know I've got you on my side when I say the worst thing about Jack Daniel's Whiskey & Cola is that the bottles it comes in are not twist-off tops. You have to have a bottle opener to get to your booze every time you want a new one. What the fuck? Why did we have to go and get bottle openers involved in the making of a Jack & Coke? In an attempt to make this beverage easier for your consumers to consume, Jack, you've actually made it more difficult. Next time, maybe have the meetings with your packaging team before booze-thirty.

If you want to drink Jack & Coke from a bottle, I recommend you simply do this: Drink Jack, then Coke, straight from their bottles. It's what we've all done for centuries.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter: @cityofate.

KEEP THE OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.