Kids, don't try this at home. Really. Or anywhere else.
Kids, don't try this at home. Really. Or anywhere else.

10 Inspired Food Choices for Your Super Bowl Party

Super Bowl week is upon us, and many of you are no doubt planning Sunday get-togethers to watch the New Orleans Saints take on the Indianapolis Colts. You could play it safe with the requisite chips, dips and finger foods... or you could throw a Hail Mary with one of these more ballsy suggestions. After all, you want this party to be memorable right? (But not this kind of memorable. The Bean Dip of the Gods is the culinary equivalent of a botched Tony Romo hold.)

1. Big Hot Dog
If we have to explain this to you, you obviously hate America.

2. Kiddie Pool full of Red Beans & Rice
If you're concerned about post-game activities--watching the post-game episode of 24 or whatever-the-fuck as people dribble out of your house is a total party pooper move--try this. Red Beans & Rice is a delicious dish, and once everyone's had their share of food and alcohol, you can wrestle in it, too. Or reenact the cover of The Who Sell Out.

This being a football party, the garnish is optional.
This being a football party, the garnish is optional.
Flickr user Lisa

3. Bacon Explosion
A classic Super Bowl food in the making. You can even order one on the Internet.

4. IV of High Fructose Corn Syrup
In honor of Indiana's biggest export, you could always eat corn on the cob, but why not honor Indiana's second biggest export (John Cougar Mellencamp) by mainlining this heart attack-inducing super-ingredient. Ain't that America?

5. Hot Tub Crawfish Boil
Soak away your pregame tension and prepare a gametime delicacy at the same time. Just make sure to wear some type of protection for your nether regions.

Come Monday morning, you'll have far bigger worries than who beat who in Miami.
Come Monday morning, you'll have far bigger worries than who beat who in Miami.
Flickr user jasonlam

6. White Castle Sliders
Now that Dave's gone, we can write about sliders all we want. Sliders, sliders, sliders, sliders...sliders. The White Castle plant in Orleans, Indiana puts out some 16 million pounds of slider beef a year, though the townsfolk themselves have to drive over 50 miles to sample their own product. Should the Colts pull this one out, I think it's pretty obvious that Peyton should celebrate by building the world's biggest White Castle in downtown Orleans. Locally, you'll have to make due with Krystal burgers to join in solidarity with the Corn People.

7. Foot Long Andouille Corn Dog
Sure, the Cowboys didn't make the Super Bowl, but at least you can Texa-fy this Cajun standard.

8. A Bowl Full of Chef Paul Prudhomme's Magic Seasoning
Too lazy to fire up the grill? Then try this bowl of Cajun flavor on for size. You can snort it, eat it with a spoon or toss some tortilla chips in it to create your own homemade Dorito flavors. Also a great way to settle bets. (Remember when Paul Prudhomme got shot and thought it was just a bee sting? Legend has it he just rubbed a little Magic seasoning on it and continued cooking.)

9. Giant King Cake
This traditional Mardi Gras treat can be purchased at most local grocery stores this time of year, but a Super Bowl party calls for something bigger. That means baking one big enough to hide a life-size baby doll in. Bonus points if you can sculpt a reasonable replica of a fetal Tim Tebow.

10. Nacho Cheese Hat
Too invested in the game to take the time to make actual nachos? Take the old beer helmet concept and add two industrial size bags of nacho cheese. Then, just add a mouthful of chips and suck. Make sure to invite someone who can successfully perform the Heimlich Maneuver.


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