Carl's Jr., in its infinite wisdom, has developed a foot-long cheeseburger. Like Burger King's BK Shots, this is another burger innovation beyond the limits of imagination. Clearly, human minds will be puzzling over this long-food-meat and bun invention for some time. While scientists dabble in supernatural wonder, we'd like to propose 10 other foods that should be made foot long. Whether it results in deliciousness, the joy of hyper-quantity or an incredible sound made when masticated (Pop Rocks) -- these are foods that should be ExtenZed.
1. McDonald's McRib - The slogan for McRib should be: "The More the Better."
2. Combos - Like a Chipotle burrito, except tougher on the outside.
3. Mozzarella Sticks - At a foot long (or larger), this would make good sandwich slices.
4. Chicken Nuggets - Saddle up with your friends to the horse trough of foot-long nugs.
5. Pop Rocks - The sizzle on your tongue would be louder than a waterfall.
6. Frosted Mini-Wheat - It might take a mighty spoon, or an axe, and a full gallon of milk, but this cereal would be way better on a larger scale.
7. Cadbury's Cream Egg - This might weigh the basket down come Easter time, but it's every kids dream (for one bite, then you're sick).
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the Observer's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Dallas's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
8. Rocky Mountain Oyster - Buffalo balls are already large, might as well serve 'em au naturale.
9. Sausage Biscuit - Imagine: pulling out of McDonalds with a breakfast sandwich that never ends. Except after a foot.
10. Peanut - Farmers are already growing massive pumpkins and water melons, but who wouldn't want a football-sized peanut?