A 'Stache, a Ginger and a Tesar: Top Chef: Seattle Features Three Badass Dallas Chefs

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Looks like Joshua Valentine will be this season's sound-bite king. So far, the season teasers have him saying stuff like, "Last time I checked, only one person wins Top Chef," and (to Tesar, probably after being made to hang out with Tesar for 148 hours straight) "I will lecture you, you condescending prick, there's a reason you're the most hated chef." I hate it when Mom and Dad fight. I hope you win, Joshua Valentine.

Valentine Top Chef Drinking Game: Every time he says something that could immediately be put on a Top Chef T-shirt, drink.

Near the end of the episode, they finally let Danyele McPherson be on TV. And then, some Gina chick called Danyele out for lighting some tomatoes on fire. I'd be more mad about it, but Gina got sent home almost immediately for making a shitty salad.

When Gina got kicked off, she said, "I'm not just a nutritionist, I'm a movement." Yeah. A bowel movement. Get out of the way of my Dallas peeps, lady. Long live The Ginger. Danyele, kick some ass out there. I hope you win.

McPherson Top Chef Drinking Game: Every time McPherson smiles, but you know she's really thinking, "Fuck you, Gina," drink.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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