A Very Pinterest Thanksgiving

In case you missed last year's diatribe, Thanksgiving is my favorite American, history-ignoring, food-based holiday. This year, now that social media has fully seeped into every single orifice of our existence, I decided to turn to Pinterest, the pinnacle of everything food-porny, weird, magical and un-natural in this world, for some help in planning my Thanksgiving meal.

Oh wow was that a mistake. Here's why.

See also: - Five Alternatives to Traditional Thanksgiving Stuffing! - I Fucking Love Thanksgiving Hey Thanksgiving, Let's Make Out

Thanksgiving Dessert Overload What you read about food porn addiction is REAL. Just look at Pinterest. It's an echo-chamber of food porn, particularly dessert food porn. But the worst offender during Thanksgiving is not the pumpkin everything, not the spice cakes dripping with hot icing, nor is it all the sweet potato casseroles with flambéed marshmallows -- or heaven forbid -- candy corn. No. It's cupcakes that are made to look like savory, traditional Thanksgiving foodstuffs. Why the fuck would I eat a cupcake that looks like mashed potatoes?!?! Sure, I want a cupcake, but first I want actual mashed potatoes. Thanks for forcing me to look at cupcakes that make me want to puke, Pinterest.

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