An Uncertain Victory at Bread Winner's Holiday Brunch

Having gotten most of my holiday-related drinking done at an East Texas lake between Friday night and Sunday afternoon, I awoke Monday morning refreshed and ready to eat something that hadn't been half-dumped in a camp fire. A cruise through Deep Ellum left few options -- not only was it before 10 a.m. in a neighborhood not classically known for its breakfast options, but even the typically reliable All Good was dark. Migas, please? None to be had.

There was no recourse, then, but to head for Uptown, where crazy people get up early on holidays, Saturdays, weekdays, and other ungodly days to walk dogs and jog. Heartened by the sight of many a happy 'townie shoveling massive plates of designer eggs down 'townie gullets on the Bread Winner's patio, the man o' the hour and I rolled into the McKinney Avenue upscale-casual joint anxious for a scramble or two. With no wait for a table -- unusual! -- we breezed past the usual passel of happy couples taking the in-laws out for breakfast to snag a nice little two-top in the airy courtyard.

When it comes to brunch in Dallas, Bread Winner's is both a safe and reliably tasty choice. The scrambles are lovely, for those who fancy giant piles of eggs with veggies, meat and sauces aplenty, and the toasty and bready options are plenty plentiful -- they even had a fried chicken and waffles special yesterday.

Bread Winner's scored, as usual, a major win in the food department with a top-notch Leo's Scramble (hollandaise! seasoned chicken and fresh 'maters!) for me and a veggie-ful McKinney Avenue Scramble stocked with broccoli and apple sausage for the man o' the hour (with egg whites on demand, because he is from California, wankywankywanky.) Spicy taters and fruit garnishes accompanied our dishes, and we verily ate 'em all up. And it was all we could do not to go all Raising Arizona on the family at the table next to us, taking a chubby baby hostage that we might get a taste of his parents' signature Bread Winner's Benedicts, which were poached and piled high with ham and flat-iron steak. But I hate babysitting more than I love hollandaise, so lucky for them.

But Bread Winner's, man, we gotta have a talk about your beverage service, bro-dawg. My $8 Bloody Mary wouldn't have filled up a thimble used by a really little mouse-tailor-seamstress-creature sewing a tiny dress for its mouseling's christening, and don't ask me why I'm assuming mice are Catholic. Anyway. A couple pickled green beans made for a fun garnish, but really, no salted rim, celery stalk, discernible spiciness or horseradish in sight? And on top of that, the thing was kind of watery. But while making a good Bloody Mary is hard, refilling a cup of coffee is easy. Or so we thought.

"You can have as much of this coffee as you want!" the server assured Man O' The Hour before abandoning us for the entirety of our meal in favor of a boisterous table of tanned men in tiny shorts. But I heard a funny Joe Biden joke this weekend on KYKX, East Texas Best Country, and I think I could have totally entertained our server for a number of seconds while he refilled the coffee. Maybe it was some kind of sexy power game. But I like to get those done before brunch, at which point I want a lot of coffee and a decent Bloody Mary. But I am nothing if not forgiving, and I will, of course, be coming back to Bread Winner's many times in the future. But I'm bringing a thermos and a flask and a tanned guy in tiny shorts, just in case.

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Andrea Grimes
Contact: Andrea Grimes

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