Eat This

And The Winner Is...

I may have mentioned a month or so back that we had finally come up with a scheme to give out prizes.

Good ones, too: I have Jon Bonnell's Fine Texas Cuisine, The Field Guide to Candy, Chili Madness, Cooking Dirty (has nothing to do with Blythe Beck) and other food-related books cluttering up my office, taking up potential bar space. Plus there are a few other treats, such as the DVDs we stole from Wilonsky or a packet of coffee beans roasted by Oak Cliff Coffee Roasters on August 28 of this year. So if coffee is like fine wine, they may be peaking in flavor right about now.


Anyway, we've kept track. Something like 60 named people have been celebrated as non-winners since we started this thing. In a couple of weeks, the biggest non-winners--the ones with the most posts picked for this column--will get to take some of these fine prizes home...presumably for re-gifting.

Right now, there are four non-winners with real shots. And several others lurking in the not nearly as coveted 'non-winner also ran' position.

So--on to this week's crop:

We'll start by highlighting a few quick quips, such as this one from bruce: "I used to date a mexican girl and she referred to me as the white sausage." In response to the piece on Arthur Treacher's, Worzel Gummidge noted: "The square fish couldn't swim." Then there's this Dude Food response from

PickleTini2: "Mmmmm...fried cheese! And I'm a chick, not a dude."

Oh, and Gipson, who added this to our Top 10 list: "Obvious #11: Baconnaise."

From those who like to flesh out their thoughts, we decided the comment posted by Tony to our new Westfork column was worthy of a non-winner: "Could it be you prefer the FW scene because you're old now and FW is so slow and boring it suits you better? I'm trying to talk my gf into moving, I canm't bare another weekend in that boring town. Oh...and everybody's fat."

And they wear those funny hats.

Some Guy was kind enough to share this warning: "Do not, let me repeat that, when in Munich DO NOT consume weisswurst on Friday morning after drinking a local under the table after throwing out a fool hardy challenge that 'no Bavarian can out drink a Texan'. You have been warned."

See--every once in awhile, City of Ate provides you with useful advice.

We liked this question from JF: "In my opinion the only thing that's worth eating at Spiral are the desserts. Everything else is just fake meat loaded with olives. Seriously, does every dish require black olives?" And we're a little concerned that Knottygirl might stomp into our office with frozen foods in hand: "Seriously, if 'My name is Ted. And one day I'll be dead, yo yo yo' does not stop running through my head soon, I will come to your office and whomp you upside the head with a frozen pizza."

The ever popular DallasDude offered this bit of's a word that doesn't mean logic?: "Wolfgang Puck is the same sick bastard that is responsible for the putrid catering at the new Winspear. Lame Tom Thumb sushi bites (think fake crab California rolls) and sugar crusted pecans. And only sells beer and bad wine! I can eat a lot of horrifying sushi if I have a Tanquerey and tonic to wash it down with. Wasn't Puck also the knavish sprite in MidSummer Night's Dream? Bastard, I tell ya."

But this weeks big non-winner is Handsome Lance Manion, for his addition to the Top 10: "The Microwave- What the small digital video recorder did for the film industry, the microwave did for the culinary world. Any dufus can now eat a warm something or other. After a long night of debauchery it has yielded many seeds of inspiration. Hot dog & cream cheese quesadillas for one. Mmmm......"

Ah, culinary creativity.

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Dave Faries
Contact: Dave Faries

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