Eat This

And The Winner Is...

It is truly weird when City of Ate stories pop up in other venues, often without context. For instance, our Top 10 on foods to fry for next year's state fair somehow ended up in a Baltimore paper's blog, where some people show surprising scorn for things Texan.

These cross-posts, or whatever they're called, sucker in new, often confused readers--as seen in comments such as the one attached to the story in which our intern (we still can't believe otherwise responsible editors gave us use of an intern) and her UNT gang ate bags of Halloween candy:

"Why is the title of the post 'chocolate vs. fruit-flavored,' when there aren't any fruit-flavored candies mentioned in the body text?"

Hmm...thought we had it covered by listing Skittles and Starburst in the set up, as well as Skittles again in the body. In normal weeks that might have qualified for a prize--if, of course, we ever gave prizes away (and this time around it would have been a date with young Sarah Johnson in her zombie homecoming queen outfit, which she happens to be wearing around the office).

So instead, we once again offer nothing to our non-winners. This week's less-than-proud crop:

We like this one, from cynical old bastard in response to Veggie Guy, because it asks a good question. "Since I'm not up on the vegan way of eating I'll ask the following: Is there not a problem if the gardenburger is cooked on the same griddle/grate as the regular burgers?"

Anonymous, responding to Days Gone Bite, admitted this: "I did have a Lancelot Link Secret Chimp lunch box with handy matching thermos. God I wanted a monkey so bad. He was to be my simian servent, and I would never have to mow lawns again. Sigh."

Which is probably why he/she wished to remain anonymous.

DallasDude went into a weirdly mesmerizing, beautifully detailed reverie when commenting on someone else's response to the Luby's/Furr's battle. "Poor taco. Poor, poor taco. Beth doesn't want to eat you. She wants the boil in bag stuff at Olive Garden. And who can blame Beth? Taco just sits there on his plate with two tiny, flat corn tortillas with its al Pastor smothered in chopped onion and cilantro. Wreaking of Valentina. OK, what time do I pick you up, taco?"

And DallasDude scores (if that's the right word) again with this one liner, posted under Short Orders: "You had me at cougar."

Unfortunately, Drue Mitchell warns us about cougar antics in this, attached to (Un)sound Bites: "There were these 4 cougars hanging out infront of the stage screaming at the top of their lungs hey, DJ play, blah, blah, blah! These are grown women w/ their yah-yah's hanging out their shirts, and all of them drunk as crap. After awhile I looked up and there was a bunch of people gathered at the entrance and the cougars were all storming out. Appearantly, one of them ordered a drink, it didn't taste right so she threw it on the bartender. Again, grown women, acting like Paris Hilton crossed with Courtney Love. Wow."

So it would have been between Drue and DD for the right to take Sarah to The Ritz for drinks, then to Aurora for a multi-course feast, then over to Candleroom for more drinks--a rather expensive prize.

Good thing we're not giving her away, then.

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Dave Faries
Contact: Dave Faries