Basket Case: Kazy's has giant balls. Of tapioca.

Kazy's Gourmet
9256 Markville Drive

Try: Meiji fruit drop candy

Don't try: Konpeito sugar balls

I was out of rice wine vinegar, so instead of going to Tom Thumb to pay a zillion dollars for it and wait in the self-checkout line for eight hours while some old lady tries to find the bar code on her Depends, I decided to go to Kazy's Gourmet.

While the place looks a little sketchy from the outside (established in 1978 and totally looks like it), this Japanese market supplies fish to many local sushi restaurants. You can find your regular sashimi grade tuna and salmon here, plus they've got giant freezers full of tons more stuff. I saw everything from cooked shrimp to smelt egg to giant slabs of octopus in there. Giant freaking octopus, y'all! Suck it, lame ol' Walmart and Kroger! And when I showed up (Monday around noon), a truck was unloading tons of fresh fish. I was beyond excited to order some sushi rolls.

Inside, there's a sign that reads, "$10 minimum on credit cards." What sushi bar has to list that, you might ask? Kazy's. Because the prices at Kazy's are so super freakin' low that I ordered two rolls (one jalapeno roll and one LBJ roll) for a total of $5.14. I had to order two bubble teas (one green tea and one mango) to make it up to their $10 minimum. Whatever, I was thirsty.

While I waited for my rolls and teas, I picked up some Marukan rice vinegar and then
went shopping in the grocery section of the shop. Past all the beautiful sushi serving dishes, I found furikake (It's a popular Japanese seasoning that looks a lot like flaky fish food. You're supposed to use it to season steamed rice. The container says to sprinkle it on anything you would salt and pepper). It tastes seaweedy and eggy. (Probably because I got the seaweed and egg flavor.) I will most likely buy some fish to feed it to instead of eating more of it myself.

On the sweets aisle, I found a ton of stuff including these tiny "sugar balls." They're the perfect choking hazard for adults and children alike. And they tasted like... sugar. Plus a little red dye #5. Let's put it this way: If I could choose a food to die from choking on, these would be bottom of the list.

Leagues cooler was the flask full of Meiji fruit drop candy I found. Reasons it's cooler: A) It's candy for kids packaged in a flask. B) It tastes delicious and comes in at least seven identifiable flavors: grape, lemon, strawberry, pineapple, orange, mint, and melon. And C) It's candy. For kids. In a flask.

I also picked up these freaking amazing little cookies that have absolutely no English written on them at all, so I bought them purely based on packaging. I'm told by a friend that these are "Koala March" cookies. They have strawberry chocolate filling and are mind-bangingly tasty. They were like Fig Newtons on steroids. Animal crackers filled with heaven. All I know is I love eating koala. Do not pass these up.

After about five minutes of grocery shopping, the sushi rolls were ready. I was a little bummed to see that they were really small--only four pieces to each roll. But five bucks for one whole roll is still a bargain for fresh, made-to-order sushi rolls in this town. The jalapeno roll tasted clean and had the perfect spicy kick. The LBJ roll was crunchy and had a delicious sweet sauce on top (if you have to choose between these two rolls, Lyndon B definitely wins).

As for the bubble tea, it was just alright for me. But, I'm not generally a super huge bubble tea fan. See, me and tapioca balls are like me and Heidi Montag: I'm grossed out and immediately gag just at the sight of them. But, when my tea was ready, it looked so delicious that I decided to give tapioca a second chance. Turns out, just like New-Faced Montag, the sight of tapioca balls still makes me wanna hurl. But, if you like those chewy, eyeball-textured turds, you'll love this stuff. I'd go with the Mango flavored tea. It was yummy and looked less like a protein shake than the Green Tea option.

Hit up Kazy's. It's just as scary as it looks, but twice as awesome.

The Basket: Jalapeno roll, LBJ roll, green tea-flavored bubble tea, mango-flavored, Konpeito sugar balls, Meiji fruit drop candy, Koala March cookies, Urashimi furikake, Marukan rice vinegar

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