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BBQ, Bacon, and Other Intoxicating Cologne Scents

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It's a simple enough premise -- barbecue smells awesome, so why not package its scent into a 60-milliliter vile vial and sell it for people to spray all over themselves?

There is no reasonable answer to the previous question, which is why the innovative folks at Pork Barrel BBQ recently released Que, which is described, rather revoltingly, as a "tantalizing bouquet of spices, smoke, meat, and sweet summer sweat."

Can't forget that sweet summer sweat.

To accompany their new smoky n' meaty cologne, Pork Barrel released a trio of ads, one of which features a bipedal pig walking down a hallway stripping, ostensibly preparing for some piggy sexytime.

The product, available only online, is one of many food-centric fragrances to hit the interweb shelves this summer season. Over at Chicago-based Fargginay, not one, but TWO bacon fragrances are featured. The Bacōn Classic contains what its manufacturers call a "sophisticated smoky maple" scent, while Bacōn Gold offers a "memorable sizzling citrus" aroma. The box that houses each fragrance is decorated with a silhouette of a voluptuous woman that transforms into a crispy piece of bacon -- it's as if you took a mermaid, and replaced the fish portion with a strip of bacon (which ironically, is eerily familiar to a recurring dream of mine).

Even Burger King is hopping on the meat-scented cologne bandwagon, as the fast food giants recently released Flame, a men's body spray promoted as "the scent of seduction mixed with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Sounds...sexy?

Big-ups to Brooklyn-based CB I Hate Perfume for featuring not only meat-based fragrances, but countless other culinary favorites in their perfume repertoire: bruschetta, pesto, rice (boiled and pilaf), California roll, and cucumber sandwich, to name a few. That's right -- cucumber sandwich fragrance. Are there subtle hints of cream cheese in there?

What a world. What a smelly, smelly world.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.