Breaking News: Uptown Popcorn Bitch-Slaps Orville Redenbacher

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Uptown Popcorn recently opened in NorthPark mall with more than 70 popcorn flavors that are way more tasty than that microwavable Orville Redenbacher's you have in your pantry. A mini bag of most of Uptown Popcorn's flavors will only set you back $1.75 and holds about three cups of crazy awesome popcorn. Choosing one flavor from their menu is much too difficult (and lame), so we came up with a list of five flavor combos you should try that truly capitalize on the popcorn potential that Uptown Popcorn offers.

5 Awesome Flavor Combos from Uptown Popcorn 1) The Fair: Order up a mini bag of beer, dill pickle and pink cotton candy, and all you're missing for a complete fairgoer's experience is a Tilt-a-Whirl and a drunk guy barfing on a carny.

2) The Breakfast: Try the cinnamon toast (this was our favorite flavor -- it's cinnamon sugar-dusted kettle corn), butter and banana. Add pina colada for those hair-of-the-dog mornings.

3) The Chili's: Get the chili cheese, fully-loaded baked potato and Dr Pepper. Possible side effects: In about two seconds, you might start hearing Journey in your head along with a bunch of waiters yelling that dang "Happy, happy birthday!" clap song.

4) The Chick Flick: Gather some of your ladies together, order a bag each of rocky road, cookies & cream and s'mores and get ready to cry over Matthew McConaughey's orange abs.

5) The Resolution Wrecker: If you're gonna break your resolution, you might as well really screw it up big time. Get yourself pizza, jalapeño ranch, dark chocolate pretzel (a mini bag will cost you $5.50, but it's worth every penny), Key lime pie, cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake and triple berry cheesecake. Might as well eat it sitting on a scale so you can watch the immediate weight-gaining magic happen.

Looking for Valentine's Day ideas that'll get you some action but won't cost you a million dollars? One of the very helpful employees at Uptown Popcorn said they're going to offer some seasonal flavors for Valentine's Day starting later this week including chocolate-covered strawberry popcorn, white chocolate-covered cherry popcorn and "a sweetheart mix that's white, red and pink kettle corn." If their seasonal flavors taste anything like the rest of the flavors they offer, we're guessing that a large tin of chocolate-covered strawberry popcorn could easily get you to third base. You're welcome.

Uptown Popcorn 214-919-4309 320 NorthPark Center

Hours: 10 a.m.-9 p.m Monday-Saturday Noon-6 p.m. Sunday

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