Cheap Bastard

Burgers With Balls

Lunch special: Hamburger, sweet potato chips and a drink for $9.46.

Homemade root beer at the fountain count: 1

"Sofa King tasty" jokes count: 1

Paper towel holders hanging on the wall for you to use as napkins count: 58

Some days, I'm just hungry. But other days, my stomach screams for food like Britney is screaming for a stylist. Like Private Practice is screaming to be canceled. Like Whitney Houston screams the songs she used to sing. And on those stomach-screaming days, I hit up Twisted Root Burger Co. on Commerce Street in Deep Ellum. I've talked them up before but never really thought of them as being a cheap lunch place because I bought into their gourmet burger image so much. But when I was doing my post-breakfast Internet surf for lunch options, I saw on their menu that their burgers are just $4.99. It was almost too much for me to comprehend: really, really good burger, fries and a drink for less than $10? Is this Dallas?

When I got there, I ordered a burger, sweet potato chips and a drink for $9.46. They gave me a name for my order (Blossom) and in a flash, they called me out over the loud speaker, "Blossom, your career's over. And your order's ready." And it was on.

The burger is big, juicy and fantastic. It's served open-faced with all the necessary veggie options, including pickles. Properly pile up your vegetables, slather it up with their homemade horseradish mustard and chipotle ketchup and stuff in face. The sweet potato chips are dusted with cinnamon or nutmeg or crack cocaine—I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Whatever it is, I'm hooked. But if you're not a fan of the sweet potato, they've got plenty of other sides to make you salivate. A plate of onion rings was walked past my table, and I had to use serious mind-over-matter power.

Deep Ellum has had it pretty rough lately. The tunnel's filled up, the music venues are closing down, Norah Jones has replaced Jack Nicholson as the mural of choice. And that makes me sad. So, it's nice knowing that there's a place I can go in Deep Ellum to drown my sorrows in grease and pumpkin cheesecake shakes.

To open up a burger joint across the street from Adair's and Angry Dog, you must have balls. And Twisted Root does. Fried cheese balls. You should try them.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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