BYOHotDog. BYONachos. BYOCooler to the Rangers Game, Beetches!

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Yay! You're going to a Rangers game! Boo. It's a million dumbgrees outside. Whatever. You're a true fan. So, suck it up. Clearly, they need you out there right about now.

If you're going to a game at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, you immediately know a few things: 1) River of crack sweat. 2) You're going to spend a ridiculous amount of cash on booze and food. 3) People will be putting their antlers up in support of the Rangers because obviously every real Texas Ranger was part minotaur.

We can't help you with the back-sweating-into-butt thing or the drunk dude next to you yelling "Antlers UP!" but we did find a way to reduce the amount of money you have to fork over at the game for refreshments: bring your own food-and-bev-filled cooler.

The Ballpark allows you to bring a "soft-sided, collapsible cooler" to the game.

"CONTAINER POLICY/ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES No metal cans, glass containers or alcoholic beverages may be carried into the ballpark. Only soft-sided, collapsible coolers without plastic inserts are allowed -- no hard coolers, backpacks, or oversized bags. All bags and purses must be 16"x16"x8" or smaller and are subject to search by ballpark staff."

So, get your hands on a soft-sided cooler, stuff it with a pack of sweaty hot dogs, a gallon of nacho cheese, cotton candy and a water bottle. Just be warned: Saving all that money might make buying one of those three-pound pretzels sound like a good idea. Do not do this thing.

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Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.