Cedars Mediterranean Mezza & Grill Really, Really, Really Wants to Top Off That Water

Keep Dallas Observer Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

Follow the Cheap Bastard as she scours the city, looking for a good -- or at least non-lethal -- lunch for less than 10 bucks.

Eight old dudes, sitting at a table near the back, had buckets of empty wine and were clearly mid-serious-slurred-conversation when I walked in. Cedars Mediterranean Mezza & Grill (8141 Walnut Hill Lane) is BYOB. I had not seen anyone take advantage of BYOB at lunch on a Tuesday before this day. It was a wonderful sight. I couldn't tell if they were arguing about President Obama or pants with zippers. I don't think they were sure, either. "The zipper broke when I sat down, and these pants are only 20 years old! Thanks, Obama."

I ordered the No. 6 lunch special: pita wrap (beef, chicken or lamb) with relishes, sauce and a Greek salad for $7.99. They handed me one of those numbers on a stick and told me my food would be right out.

At this point, I realized that Cedars offers cheap people the perfect setup: It's order-at-the-counter-and-then-get-all-the-benefits-of-having-a-server-without-being-required-to-tip-a-server time. After you've paid, you sit down and a server comes to your table to ask you what you ordered to drink. He brings you your beverage, your food, and then asks you if you need anything else. You don't, so he leaves.

Five seconds later, after you've had one sip, he comes by to refill it. Awesome.

You begin to test his refill sensitivity. You drink half of your water. He immediately appears and asks if you would like a refill. "No, I'm good," you say, and those three words stab him straight through the heart. The half-full water sitting on your table stings his serving sensibilities like a sharp-poky-jeweled-fist punch to the nut parts. What's next?

Three different servers will appear to ask you if you need more water. They will all be equally pissed when you say you're not in need of more, and that you are, in fact, hydrated.

The restaurant service manual in the office of the restaurant sobs as you insist on keeping that water on your table half full. "Fucking let them refill it! A full glass of water on every table is the one true sign that people here are getting great service! You are hole of ass!" the service manual seems to say. You have ruined his day.

If you like falafel and wraps and salads, go get yourself some for a cheap-ass price at Cedars. And be sure to make it a drunk BYOB grandpa lunch if at all possible.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.