Cheap Bastard

Chef Wang

Other people in line in front of me count: 10

Minutes before I got my food count: 5

I'll say it. I love Wang. When I get a craving for Wang, nothing else will do. And yeah, it sucks that I have to pay for it in cash and that the only place I can get it is in a dark corner of an underground tunnel, but it's worth it. Sometimes, you just need some delicious, hot, tasty Wang, ya know?

Now, don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about, people. When I went to get me some Wang the other day, the line was out the door. Chicks, dudes, kids, grandpas—everybody was there. It was so crowded that I was worried they might run out of the good stuff. But when I got to the front of the line, Chef Wang still had plenty of combination lo mein (with beef, shrimp and chicken, because eating a nutritious lunch every day that's packed with at least three meat food groups is a life choice I require of myself. Sure, it's hard, but it's what I have to do in order to maintain the kind of body that I'm working toward), plus an egg roll and a fried wonton and a drink for me. So, luckily, I didn't have to thumb-wrestle any bitches, punch any babies or kick any grandmas in the fake teeth. I ordered my food, paid in cash (no plastic here except for boobs) and found my way to the back of the second line. (Chef Wang's has a food ordering line and a food-getting line. It's pretty Six Flags-y.)

While I wait for my food, let me tell you where Chef Wang's is located. It's hiding on Main Street as part of the downtown underground food tunnel system. If you haven't yet discovered this wonder of Dallas, go to the ground floor of One Main Place and smell your way to cheap food heaven.

My lo mein was delish and perfectly meated. I was happily surprised with the taste of the shrimp, which had only the good shrimp qualities and none of that fishiness or sliminess or undercookedness. Ooh, and the egg roll was really good—so good that I can't remember what was in it because I inhaled it so fast. I think there was lettuce involved. And friedness. Needs more investigation.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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