Cheap Bastard

Dallas Donuts: Way Cheap and Pretty Awesome.

Driving down Northwest Highway, I saw the sign that says, "Donuts, Subs, Bagels," and underneath, on the marquee, it says, "Chicken." Bitch, I ain't no chicken!

I ordered the BLT (super standard, nothin' fancy about it), plus fries (steak fries = win) and a drink (A Diet Pepsi that exploded all over me. It's cool, Diet Pepsi. I regularly have that effect on people, so I'm used to it.). All told, I spent $6.14. There's nothing on the menu that's over seven bucks at this place and it's super diner-y inside. Overall, Dallas Donuts is way cheap and pretty awesome. It's the Hipstamatic app of diners.

The owner gave me a free cake doughnut to munch on while I waited for my BLT to come up. I thought it might be a crappy, three-day old doughnut he was trying to move out the door, but holy balls, it was freaking amazing. I never order cake doughnuts when I get doughnuts for breakfast. Ever. The only ones I've ever had have been drier than Michael Moore's coot. But this cake doughnut was from another planet. It was glazed to perfection, and if I didn't hate the word "moist," I'd say it was "moist." Instead, I'll say it was the good kind of squishy. Even Jesus would be like, "Fucking Me. This cake doughnut is My Dad damned delicious."

I talked with the owner while I ate my doughnut, and he's the nicest person ever. He's run Dallas Donuts for almost 30 years, and you can tell he still enjoys it. You can tell people really enjoy his company, too—the regulars at the counter have been coming here for, "I dunno, a million years?" And the menu is framed with what has to be hundreds of coffee mugs that customers have brought back as souvenirs from all over the world for this guy. While we talked, he asked me how long I'd lived in Dallas, if I lived in the area, and a bunch of other questions that would be stalkery and creepy if he hadn't been so nice. He was Oprah nice.

The BLT wasn't the best BLT I've ever had. But that cake doughnut was better than the best BLT I've ever had. So, I say go to Dallas Donuts, hang out with Super Nice Owner Guy Man and eat yourself into a cake doughnut coma.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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