State Fair of Texas

Dispatch from the Bacon and Eggs Competition at the State Fair of Texas

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The Creative Arts building hosts over 1,100 categories of competition including quilting, photography, crafts, and of course, food. While I was judging the six entries in the "bacon entree" category of the bacon and eggs competition, I heard that this year's pie contest had 233 entries. There were 58 pies in one of the pie categories, which means some lucky judge bastard got to taste 58 pies in one sitting. Wish I could've been a relief judge when someone tapped out. Pretty sure judging Texas state fair food competitions is the gateway drug to competitive eating.

Another popular food competition appears to be the canning competition. Check out this wall of winners.

Pro tip: If your name is Neva, you are likely to win a ribbon for your canning skillz. (It's just one of those talents that you automatically get when you're named certain names. Like, being named Einstein makes you into someone super smart. Being someone named Hulk Hogan immediately means you get a lifetime of combing a shitty wig, and picking leftovers of your dignity out of your Fu Manchu while everyone laughs at your gross sex tapes.)

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade