We'd be remiss to allow an entire College Week to pass without mention of the college life's main goal (well, you know except for the main-main one): procuring, hoarding and drinking booze.
It's a universal feeling, the simultaneous confusion and wistful nostalgia that comes with the memory of one's former "signature" drink. What the hell was I thinking?! And, God how I miss those simpler days. When dates didn't order $12 cocktails and browsing a beer list was nothing like cracking a textbook full of foreign words.
So we're here with a retrospective to remind you of the good old days, or the good new ones to come. These are in no particular order, because let's be real, each is as awful as the last. Pour out a little (very little) Deschutes Obsidian Stout in their honor.
Beer: Lonestar, Natty Light, PBR, Keystone Light, Bud Light, Milwaukee's Best, Busch Light, Miller High Life, Power Hours, Beirut
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Wine and Wine Coolers: Franzia, Carlo Rossi, Bartles & Jaymes (Fuzzie Navel), Two-Buck Chuck, Andre (for special occasions), Boones Farm (Note: The Corner Bar sells Boones by the bottle. For date night. May we suggest Strawberry Hill?)
"Premium" Malt Beverages: Smirnoff Ice, Bacardi Breeze, Mike's Hard Lemonade, Skyy Blue, Zima (RIP), Colt 45, Mad Dog, Edward Fortyhands
Liquor: Jello Shots, Jager Bombs, Malibu (straight, if you please), McCormick's vodka, Screwdrivers, Everclear (trashcan punch), body shots, quarters