Five Cures for Dallas' Cinco de Hangover

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Happy Cinco de Mayo! Despite the commonly held belief that the fifth of May is Mexican Independence Day, Cinco De Mayo is a day to commemorate and celebrate The Battle of Puebla, where an over-matched Mexican army kicked the shit out of their French occupiers. In Mexico, the holiday is celebrated with street parades, dancing, and plenty of food.

In the United States, though, the holiday has become an excuse for white people to get wasted on margaritas and consume piles of chips and queso. A lot of us have been celebrating Cinco de Mayo since Saturday, but will still end up drunkenly hollering "VIVA MEXICO!" in a sombrero while standing outside of some random bar in Uptown. Who could pass up an opportunity to drink margaritas and tequila with impunity?

Once your buzz has worn off, head out and procure yourself one of these hangover cures immediately. If you've got to go back to work on Tuesday, you're going to need it.

1. The Maribeth at Hypnotic Donuts Hypnotic Donuts is a hungover person's best friend. At this beloved Lakewood establishment, you can also treat yourself to a chicken biscuit the size of your head. The Maribeth features a gigantic fried chicken breast, house-made peppered gravy, and tater tots all smashed between a big ass biscuit. Don't get too carried away and get a half-dozen donuts, or you'll end up slumped over your desk by 11 a.m.

2. The pozole at Cuquita's Restaurant At most restaurants in Dallas, menudo is served on the weekends as a way to come back to life after a hard Friday or Saturday night of partying. During the week, though, you're pretty much out of luck. No fear, though: The pozole at Cuquita's Restaurant in North Dallas is a suitable substitute when there is no beef-tripe soup to be found. The spicy, sinus-clearing pozole broth is full of tender pork and hominy, with crunchy cabbage and fresh jalapenos on the side. There's also some kind of sorcery in pozole that somehow makes you feel 100 percent better after downing a bowl.

3. The Burgerstack at Hg Sply Co Normally I'm the last person to recommend a restaurant that bills itself as "paleo." However, desperate times. If your hangover has stuck with you until lunchtime, you're probably going to need more than office coffee and week-old break room pastry to power through. Go to HG Sply Co and order the Burgerstack, a bowl with grassfed beef, tomato, avocado, and a fried over-easy egg are served over a sweet potato hash. You're going to need that kind of nutritional profile to not puke or doze off during your afternoon meetings.

4. Breakfast burritos at La Victoria This joint may look a little sketchy, but so did that guy who got your number last night. La Victoria on Haskell is an East Dallas hidden gem. Fill a massive tortillas with egg, chorizo, and potato for a breakfast that has the right combination of grease and carbs to soak up all those tequila shots you were pounding last night. If you're too lazy to create your own, The Zack Attack, filled with beans, eggs, bacon, and potato, is always a solid choice.

5. Eggs, bacon and biscuits at Barbec's Diner food is made for people who have hangovers, and Barbec's is one of the best. Their beer biscuits are regionally famous, and they cook up a mean two-egg plate with the meat of your choice. Bacon is an obvious choice, especially if you plan to make a DIY egg and bacon sandwich with one of those delicious, fluffy biscuits. Barbec's opens at 6:30 am, and it's totally worth dragging your hungover ass out of bed a few minutes early instead of just driving through Whataburger like usual.

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