1.

Why are you ordering a triple, quad-pattie? It doesn't enhance taste or bring a new flavor that was previously hidden under a mere two patties of meat. Size matters with a burger, but when was the last time you finished a double and felt great about yourself?

2.

There have been multiple sightings, and the mainstream world was introduced to the concept through

's. We're going to call this the Star Wars Prequel Effect: Just because the idea sounds great, doesn't mean it won't be the worst thing you've ever experienced. What's that phrase that starts out with "too much of a good thing"?

3.

If you're trying to prove something when you eat a burger, than you've already missed the point.

4.

I'm talking to you

and Burger King. Instead of a "burger wrap" or a "burger pizza," wouldn't it be better business to sink money into a burger that didn't need ketchup and mustard? Oh wait, they did -- it's called the

.

5.

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If you have to hose your burger with liquid salt or some low-grade A1 substitute, than it's a safe bet your burger sucks before it hits the table.