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Five McDonald's Failed Menu Items

Today's story about Fish McBites and my prediction that they don't last past Lent spurred my curiosity into McDonald's other historic flops. Attempts to regionally market bad food have typically done poorly for the chain. Crab cakes in the Maryland market and lobster rolls in New England states were all...
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Today's story about Fish McBites and my prediction that they don't last past Lent spurred my curiosity into McDonald's other historic flops. Attempts to regionally market bad food have typically done poorly for the chain. Crab cakes in the Maryland market and lobster rolls in New England states were all met with disbelief. Here are some other flubs from the largest restaurant company in the world:

The McDLT promised the best tasting lettuce and tomato burger ever. I'm guessing this one failed not only because it employed more packaging material than actual food but also because they put the cheese on the cold side. How's it gonna melt?

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The McLean Delux is an odd bird, indeed. Who the hell goes to McDonald's to order a low-fat hamburger? Manufacturing a 91 percent fat free patty is noble, but McDonald's had to employ carrageenan, the linear sulfated polysaccharides that are extracted from red seaweeds, to hold the thing together. Seaweed burger? Maybe in Japan, but definitely not in the states.

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The Arch Delux claimed to be McDonald's first gourmet hamburger. Commercials featuring McDonald's executive chef Andrew Selvaggio donning a tall toque and hocking top-end burger bliss drew crickets. Selvaggio is now working with the folks at Smashburger.

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I actually liked these in high school. That was way up in Maryland though, and I'd love to know how the parcels of gummy tortilla and flaccid chicken were received in Texas.

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Silly McDonald's. You can't serve food with a bone in it! People might figure out that they're actually eating animals! Give your "billions served" convenient sustenance all over the world, but never, ever try to convince us your food is real.

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