Despite City of Ate's obvious culinary prowess, there are some events that are better off catered by the freezer section -- the Super Bowl, for example. On February 6, you'll have a lot of football to watch and commercials to critique. Go ahead and buy these Super Bowl staples and shrug off the guilt. You'll have to spray the same amount of Febreze afterward. (For more Super Bowl XLV events info, check out our events page.)
Piggies in a Blanket Also known as "pigs in a blanket" to the masculine and "kolaches" to the culturally uninformed, I have yet to see a homemade piggy that bested a frozen one given the labor to flavor ratio. A frozen piggy bottom may scorch, but a Little Smokie wrapped in Pillsbury Crescent dough isn't an improvement. The process promises an uncomfortable amount of dough to be stuffed up under fingernails. And the fruit of your labor is just a tough Smokie swathed in moist dough. Since a piggy in a blanket's flavor isn't particularly refined, spare yourself a hard weenie and buy frozen.
Pizza Everyone likes Build Your Own Pizza Parties on every other day of the year (and everyone had a really good time last year, we promise. Playing mancala and charades was totally a good idea), but they're a bit of a hassle when guests just want to watch The Game. Plus, all those doughy fingernails reaching into the pepperoni bowl can't be hygienic. The solution: Order pizza. Run that poor delivery kid ragged. He knew what he was getting himself into when he applied at Pizza Hut.
Quiches If you make actual mini-quiches for your Super Bowl party, you're probably a bit of a jerk. Show your casual sophistication by popping a box of frozen quiches in the oven. Yeah, you know about and even eat quiche. Psh, no, you didn't work for it.
Chex Mix It is just not true that homemade Chex Mix tastes good. It takes like a bowl of cereal mixed with cereal and disappointment. Regardless of its ancestors, today's Chex Mix is a bag of jagged crunchies so salty it leaves your mouth uncomfortably parched, and that's the way we like it.
Snack Food Stadium If, after reading those four rock-solid reasons for buying all your snacks, you are still determined to create something for Super Bowl Sunday, you are clearly a champion in the kitchen. Dismiss the Pillsbury dough and bowls of chopped toppings and erect something similar to Holy Taco's Ultimate Snack Food Stadium. It looks like it is constructed largely of Twinkies and bacon. Delicious, if you're into that kind of thing. And since you're reading City of Ate, we know that you are.
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