| Lists |

Gawker's Fruit Rankings Are Terrible So I Made My Own and They're Much Better

Keep Dallas Observer Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

Gawker is actually ranking fruits. How pointless is that?

Let's break down their rankings and rank the fruits of the world ourselves.

27. Fig 26. Date 25. Honeydew 24. Papaya 23. Cantaloupe 22. Blackberry 21. Pear

20. Raspberry 19. Apricot 18. Pineapple 17. Guava 16. Lemon 15. Plum 14. Strawberry 13. Apple 12. Grape 11. Grapefruit 10. Kiwi 9. Orange 8. Pomegranate 7. Lime 6. Watermelon 5. Banana 4. Cherry 3. Peach 2. Mango 1. Blueberry

Terrible, right? The strawberry, blackberry, raspberry and plum are obviously too low, while the top 10 is marred by the presence of the lime, the orange and the banana, all serviceable but by no means indispensable fruits.

Here are the correct rankings. Like Gawker, we claim the following to be infallible. Unlike Gawker's, ours actually are.

20. Watermelon
19. Pomegranate
18. Banana*
17. Grape
16. Cantaloupe
15. Papaya
14. Orange
13. Apple
12. Cherry
11. Pear
10. Apricot
9. Blueberry
8. Kiwi
7. Pineapple
6. Mango**
5. Blackberry
4. Plum
3. Raspberry
2. Strawberry
1. Peach

Also receiving votes: Figs, grapefruit, guava, lemon, dates***, honeydew

*I heard once that bananas constipate you, so I haven't had one since 2006. But I hear good things. **Mango would be No. 1 if it wasn't so much damn work. ***Dates wrapped in bacon are definitely in the top 10****. ****I guess that's true of pretty much everything.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.