Germany Turns Its Back on Beer Bikes, Should Probably Ship Them To Dallas

Aside from overpasses, we've just stumbled upon the most brilliant plan for reducing city traffic and pollution.

Originally from the Netherlands, these "beer bikes" can be found swerving along the roads in Germany, where up to sixteen people can sit around a table on wheels with a keg in the middle of it. Steered by a non-drinker, riders collectively help with pedaling, raising the question: who brakes? (A silly detail.) These bikes are even outfitted with speakers for bike-ridin' tunes.

Pure. Genius.

BierBike organizes these tours in several German cities, which include bathroom breaks along the route and limits beer consumption to 18 pints per table per hour. More than 150,000 tours have been booked this year alone.

Unfortunately, courts in Munich and Dusseldorf recently put the kibosh on the bikes because of complaints from (jealous) drivers about "rowdiness" and traffic jams. Apparently, as the miles and drinking increase, the pedaling, or perhaps lack there of, grows erratic, causing surrounding (jealous) drivers to get a bit hostile (jealous).

To which we say: ship'em on over, Munich and Dusseldorf. McKinney Ave. trolleys are charming and all, but think about how much more amusing beer bikes would be. There are ample opportunities for rest stops, plenty of free valet stands, and I've seen the legs around Dallas. We're a healthy lot. We got this.

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