This edition of Girl Drink Drunk will be presented in the form of a letter. If you read it fully, you will receive 42 tickets, which somehow are worth 84 tickets and may or may not be redeemable at the prize counter.***
Dear Dave and Buster,
First of all, I really hope you don't mind me calling you by your first names, but well, I don't know your last names, so please just be cool and go with it. That being said, I have a few things to bring to your attention concerning my posse's most recent visit to your establishment.
1. It was girl drinker Stephanie's birthday. We received no embarrassing song for her from a team of rowdy, fun-loving waitstaff, however our awesome waiter Marion did receive applause from some asshat employee when he got bumped into and dropped two of our entrees (through no fault of his own). What's up with that? And can everyone please stop with the broken plate clapping?
2. You have a really, really large drink menu. It's even bigger than Chili's spiral bound menu, and yours has more of an actual cover to it, so well done. Plus, your menu is well categorized between classic drinks, cocktails, tropicals, shots and the like. We found it difficult to decide on our drink choices and had to have options ready for second and third rounds. Even better, many of your drinks have related liquor in them so we were able to avoid a mixed liquor urp fest. This is not a complaint. This is awesome.
3. You have a package that allowed us to pay for game cards at a discounted rate if we bought sirloin. Meat and drinking is great, but meat, drinking and then Skee Ball?! Hells yeah. I'm going for the Eat & Play Combo every time, thank you. Excellent idea. Now if there were free games attached to my having to order a drink called the Shizzle in public, I'd be really happy. [The Shizzle, btw, was developed by D&B mixologists right here in Dallas and contains Malibu Coconut, Malibu Pineapple, Stoli Vanil and pineapple juice. It is very sweet and sort of thick. Not refreshing but tropical, which seems oddly appropriate for a drink developed where there are no beaches. I was not able to finish it as it put socks on my teeth and tongue and this is not a good thing.]
4. You have some drinks that look really badass and others that look like ass. Take for instance, Stephanie's drink, the Snow Cone (DeKuyper Watermelon Pucker, Malibu Coconut, Three Olives Cherry Vodka, Blue Curacao, Sprite and pomegranate syrup, all over shaved ice). It was fruity and fun and it looked just like a little league's daydream: all red on the bottom, purple in the middle and blue on top. Major points for presentation. Then Marla got her Candy Shop and all of us were shocked. After the Snow Cone, the Candy Shop (DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker, Smirnoff Watermelon Twist Vodka, Sprite, cranberry, lime and a cherry) looked sorta like the drab brick that might be found framing said shop, but certainly nothing as bright and fun as expected. I think you know who's ordering these drinks, Dave and Buster, and frankly, they all need to look the part of the girl drink. Hey, I dressed it up for the night, the drinks should too. Also, the Candy Shop tasted a bit like Dimetapp.
5. Now this one is both a complaint and a compliment. You have a drink called the Alien Secretion? WTF? Seriously? You think someone's going to want to ingest that? Because you're right--after a few drinks and many jokes, someone's going to be dared to do it and only the strong survive. And the strong was Marla. She ordered by pointing at the menu, God love her, and she downed that thing only to have to reach for her Candy Shop to get the taste out of her mouth. The Midori, Malibu, orange and pineapple juice with green sugar around the rim was not, as you claim, "out of this world." But it was totally fun to watch someone drink and order it so, kudos for that.
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6. Oddly enough, the best drink of the night was the virgin mojito the bartendress cooked up for our Jen. That thing was refreshing, spirited and so, so good. But as Marion warned us, he didn't know how the girl made it so don't expect to get the same thing again on our next trip. Please ask her what it was and put it on the menu. This is a golden opportunity to serve a non-alcoholic beverage that doesn't contain Red Bull. Please. Show us you care. Also, please don't charge three freakin' dollars for a soda when it's half-price cocktail time and the person ordering the soda is obviously with a group of drinkers. That's just rude.
7. OK, so yes we played trivia, driving games, Skee-Ball, some Dance Dance Revolution and that weird token slidey thing. We earned lots of tickets. We tried to redeem those tickets what with it being Stephanie's birthday, but apparently when the clock ticks one minute past 11 p.m. this is impossible. The tickets were saved onto our play cards. Now, isn't it easier to hand someone an fruit-shaped eraser set than it is to use a computer to transfer 682 credits to a play card? Whatever. Guess that means we have to go back to redeem those tickets...which gives you some time to make a few changes based on this here letter. Let me know how you're progressing and we'll be back.
Girl Drink Drunk
***You will actually receive no tickets. I just really wanted to point out the bizarre ticket-counting system at Dave & Buster's. It makes no sense. Carry on.