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Heart Attack Grill Opens In May. Yay?

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Heart Attack Grill is scheduled to open in the West End on May 13.

This video, posted in 2010, features Blair River -- the 575-pound guy who used to be the spokesperson for Heart Attack Grill's location in Arizona until he died in March at the age of 29.

And here's a clip from Nightline. My favorite part is the anchor not being able to say "grill" or "beyond," but I'm sure you'll find something else to love:

Yeah, Angry Dog and Wingfield's and lots of other glorious burger joints in Dallas are serving up the same bad-for-you foods. And yeah, everyone who walks inside a burger place knows that the food inside those doors is artery-clogging. But, does that mean Dallas should open up another one? Do we need another fucking burger place to add to the ongoing "Where's the best burger in Dallas" debate?

And let me get this straight: When I go there, I have to wear a hospital gown, they call me a "patient," and I have to gain a couple hundred pounds if I want to eat free? Mooyah Burger is starting to sound less and less annoying.

And let's talk about the titties, the impending giant breastfest. All the waitresses at Heart Attack Grill will be dressed in tiny nurses outfits and they'll have their honkers hanging out. Great. Another meal I'm going to have to eat while motorboating my waitress.

If, unlike me, you're loving the openly deadly angle that Heart Attack Grill is taking, check them out on Friday the 13th in May. Mainly, I just hope this place stays busy so I don't have to wait in line anymore at the good burger places in this town.

And hey, at least it's opening up in the West End, which is conveniently located near Baylor Medical and can't be killed as a social scene because it's already dead.

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