Hey Thanksgiving, Let's Make Out.

No, Thanksgiving/Footballsgiving/Foodsgiving/Fightsgiving/Shopsgiving/Bingegiving isn't a competition, but once I caught wind of the profession of love, adoration and profanity that Alice was going to publicly give my favorite American holiday, I realized I had to come forward with one of my own.

So, I fucking love you more, Thanksgiving. Let me count the ways:

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