How 'Bout Them Knockers: Pizzarella

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Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.

2155 Marsh Lane, Carrollton

Promised delivery time: 40 minutes
Actual delivery time: 40 minutes

Phone order doubling as identity/data-mining center: -12
Ridiculous cheese-related boasting: -6
Prompt delivery: 10
Prompt delivery on a Friday evening: 25
Un-pitted olives in salad: 14
Calling potato wedges "wedgies": 10
Driver with a cartoon moustache: 12
Aluminum foil to keep things warm: 8
'Bout the same price (and quality) as a grocery store: 6

Total Score: 67
(Pizzarella fails to grab a Top 10 berth)

Top Ten

See complete 2009 standings here

The "how are you going to pay" portion of any delivery order generally means you're about to read precious credit card numbers to some teenage clerk of dubious integrity--and those working at Pizzarella want all your numbers. That's right: card number, expiration date, three-digit security code, billing zip code...if she had asked for my social security number I might have become suspicious.

On the other hand, I figure whoever nabs my information will be forced to make some drastic decisions: how to pay off all that acquired debt, the best way to repair newly damaged credit--that sort of thing.

Not sure why their so careful. Do they deliver to the scum of the suburbs maybe? Hard to imagine when the restaurant's menu includes Greek salads, bruschetta, white pizzas and fettuccine (spelled with an i at the end) Alfredo.

On the other hand, they also list potato wedgies.

At least, after putting you through the security gauntlet, they bring your order promptly. They promised 40 minutes and it was spot on 40 when a guy in a cartoon Frito Bandito moustache knocked on my door. Now, I know ordering pizza from a joint called Pizzarella would have been wise. Stickers that adorn every box and bag and menu they bring proclaim "the finest Italian cheese money can buy." I'm certain they mean "Italian-style" cheese, though you never can tell. Maybe they mean "a small amount of money" will buy. Anyway, I planned to hit Pizza by Marco the next day and...well, too much of a good thing, variety is the spice of life--pick whatever lame excuse will get me properly off the hook.

So I ordered a salad (the antipasto, with plenty of meat on it), wings and garlic bread--pretty much the entire food pyramid as I understand it.

Just to wrap things quickly: you're better off picking up garlic bread from the frozen food section of, ugh, Albertson's. The hot wings features dry, stringy meat and a modestly spicy, one dimensional sauce. And the salad...

Really, it wasn't any worse than what you find in chain restaurants, although larger in proportion. On the plus side, there were no browning, gooey leaves. They seem to start with decent inexpensive ingredients. And they tossed in a generous handful of Kalamata-style olives--that's what a jar of similar olives I bought at a local grocery says--complete with pits.

Hard to expect more from a pizza delivery joint.

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