Nothing screams "America -- fuck yeah!" like a corn-dog eating contest. Is there
another country where revelers would celebrate the brave patriots who
fought for its freedom with a monstrous display of gluttony? Is there
anything more American than the corn dog, that creation of chemicals,
vaguely meat-related ingredients and the nutrition-free
government-subsidized crop that is corn? In fact, I'd go so far as to
say that if you're not at the Libertine Bar Sunday evening for the Second Annual Brass Knuckle Corndog Beatdown, the terrorists win. But then, I'm biased.
The format is identical to last year's competition. Contestants will
have 15 minutes to consume as many corn dogs as they can. The
first-place winner receives a $100 bar tab, second earns a $50 tab and
third gets $25 worth of quarters. Ties will be decided with a
well-tequila shoot-off, assuming both parties are of legal drinking
age; after all, it is a family-friendly affair.
Libertine co-owner Simon McDonald says that as of Friday afternoon,
nine contestants had signed up, but that he expected some last-minute
entrants Sunday. All contestants must arrive at the bar by 5 p.m.; the
contest begins at 7 p.m. McDonald didn't anticipate having to cap the
number of gurgitators, but did note that he only purchased 250 corn
dogs (State Fair brand, if you care to practice at home).
And, as with last year's contest, Patrick Michels and I will be among
the competitors. Whether we come out on top again (I won with 16, while
he took second with 14), of course, remains to be seen. Sign up at the bar or call 214-824-7900.