Got into the office a little while ago after having spent the morning comforting (meaning carrying around) an ailing cat and eating breakfast--a couple of Rice Krispies treats, but it counts.

That I did, in fact, stop for breakfast is of critical importance--or so says one of the greatest press releases ever to cross my inbox:

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Dave,

Did you skip breakfast this morning? You might have a hankering for a full-figured woman...

Now if that doesn't grab your attention, nothing will. Thing goes on to say some research rag called Miller-McCune has determined how 'food goggles' (my term, not theirs) affect a man's perception of women. Hungry guys apparently get all worked up over--their words here--"females who are heavier, taller and older."

Like they say, go heavy or eat early.