James St. Peter obviously needs more friends. This has to be the real reason he decided to start having Bingo Night every other Wednesday night starting May 29. The press release quotes St. Peter: "Hypnotic is doing this because it is fun -- that simple. We will have bingo on Wednesday nights because it will be something to look forward to during the middle of the week."
The game is limited to the first 20 people to RSVP (214-668-6999). Sign up now. I know access to this is going to end up just as tough to get as Lucia reservations. Harder to come by than Lindsay Lohan's dignity.
Before you decide to prank call Hypnotic all day, asking for dong-shaped doughnuts, note that a $15 credit card deposit will be held and only charged for no-shows. So, if you're going to prank call the guy, be sure to actually show up for bingo too. This way, everyone wins.
But, will there be doughnuts? Of course there will be doughnuts, you idiot. The kitchen will open at 6:30 p.m. and will serve a variety of cake doughnuts and those crazy chicken biscuits. Regarding beverages, alcohol is BYOB "and is highly encouraged."
The game starts at 7 p.m. and runs until 9 p.m., and -- here's my favorite part -- the bingo is "Rated R." So, does that mean maple-glazed keg stands will definitely happen? Does it mean some talented lady's going to shoot doughnut holes with the bingo letters written on them out of her holy place? Will there be 30 minutes of previews before the game? So many questions.
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Winners of bingo will be awarded "a prize." I've asked St. Peter what that will be, exactly, and at the time of this post, he hadn't gotten back to me yet. I'll let you know when I hear from him. In the meantime, let's assume it's a make-out session with a Canadian Healthcare doughnut.