I started with the best of intentions. After scanning the Internet for factoids about Fat Rabbit, the new gastrowhatever that opened in the old Sfuzzi place on McKinney Avenue, I walked in prepared to order some falafel sliders and a salad -- you know, some real rabbit food. But there it was, in the center of the menu, all alone in a call-out box. The Fat Rabbit burger was composed of 50 percent brisket, the menu said, with ground short rib making up the other half. By my calculation that made the beast about 50 percent fat.
It's hard to turn down burgers, anyway, but it's even harder when they come with an endorsement like this one. I told my bartender I was torn between the falafel and the burger. Without giving the matter much consideration she told me I should get the burger. I told her I wanted to be healthy and lied that I was still keeping up my New Year's resolutions, and she said get the burger. I told her I only like to splurge when the burger experience is really worth it. She stared at me without saying a word, batting her eyelashes to tap out the word burger in Morse code.
I got the burger.
"Medium please," I said, when she asked me how I wanted it cooked. "I recommend bacon, cheddar and mushrooms for toppings," she recommended. Who was I to argue, or care that each set me back a buck. My bartender approached the register to ring my sale but turned around toward me again. "And onions," she said with a wink. I'd already given up.
My burger arrived seven minutes later on a long, rectangular plate with french fries that tasted eerily like barbecue potato chips. Every time I licked my fingertips I flashed back to my futon in college, which gave me the munchies, so I tore into that burger. The patty was a little tough and overcooked, but I can't complain about the rest -- cheddar, bacon, mushrooms and all. Burgers aside, I'd have to guess that the food has gotten a serious upgrade from the Sfuzzi days.
And these Fat Rabbit folks are taking the metaphor to the bank. Check out the carrot cake below. The menu is full of other rabbit references, if you can get your nose out of that burger box.
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