Insurance Agents Know How To Party

A little bit of holiday party advice from those fun-loving folks at Independent Insurance Agents and Brokers of America.

Seems in this litigious nation of ours that a few hosts remain unaware of their personal liability if, say, Uncle Eddie downs half a bottle of bourbon at the family gathering, staggers to his vehicle and proceeds to careen through a First Night celebration. In Central Europe they prop flimsy gates in front of twelve foot deep ditches full of jagged rebar and dare lager louts to stumble to their doom. But here, a friend trips on a crack in your walkway and they speed dial the Strongarm.

Anyway, according to agents and brokers, the answer to seasonal liability issues has something to do with purchasing a policy carrying $1 million in coverage.

The public service advert they sent our direction included such rip-roarin' party words as "prudent" and "responsible," as well as some handy tips on protecting yourself from legal action, which we present in edited and annotated form:

*Limit your guest list to those you know [as opposed to your normal home gathering]
*Host your party at a restaurant or bar that has a liquor license [hah--that makes the post-party carnage their responsibility, not yours]
*Provide filling food for guests [and be the direct cause of obesity and the onset of type 2 diabetes?]
*Schedule entertainment or activities that do not involve alcohol [what the...?]
*Arrange overnight accommodations for those who cannot or should not drive home [you've already arranged for the accommodations; plying her with alcohol takes care of the rest]
*Do not serve guests who are visibly intoxicated [see above for exceptions]
*Consider hiring an off-duty police officer to handle any alcohol-related problems [we assume this is for a girls' night party only]
*Review your insurance policy with...  --Dave Faries

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Dave Faries
Contact: Dave Faries