Macarons Are Sooo Gay

A new book, profiled recently in the New York Times, promises to get some chatter. In it, Simon Doonan, the author of Gay Men Don't Get Fat, uses gay and straight descriptions to classify food. Fried chips, for instance? Not gay. Baked chips? So gay. Macarons: completely queer. Cheesecake: absolutely...

By Scott Reitz

January 6, 2012

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A new book, profiled recently in the New York Times, promises to get some chatter. In it, Simon Doonan, the author of Gay Men Don't Get Fat, uses gay and straight descriptions to classify food.

Fried chips, for instance? Not gay. Baked chips? So gay. Macarons: completely queer. Cheesecake: absolutely hetero. And guacamole? Straight as a penis-shaped vagina-penetrating arrow.

In addition to classifying foods, the book preaches the practice of moderation, which sort of reduces the concept to the same mantra sold in every other diet book. Still, the concept is at least temporarily entertaining, and it has me fantasizing about a lewd Louis CK companion diet program of sexual shame.

I won't risk classifying local foods as straight or gay, but if you can do it in the comments without unmasking your rampant homophobia, have at it.

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