Good job, McDonald's. You're kicking around the idea of making breakfast available all day, finally catching up with every single person who's ever had breakfast and realized it should be eaten all day every day. It's taken you long enough, and frankly we're not sure why you've kept such a reactionary definition of breakfast hours.
Look, McDonald's, we get it. You're big. Very big, one could argue. And it takes a really long time to change a very big thing. But apparently you've been thinking about this since 2006.
It cannot take seven years to engineer a McGriddle that doesn't go bad after 10:30 a.m. Because we're assuming the little McGriddle cakes go bad then, or explode, or become self-aware. Why else would you arbitrarily decide that anyone wanting breakfast after 10:30 is just shit out of luck?
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Seriously, McDonald's, be consistent. You serve coffee all day, the breakfast drink de rigueur, so why has it taken you so long to get on board with the foodstuffs? You know this is a great way to drum up revenue, and y'all have had some tough times lately.
Here's part of why we're so angry. We just learned that you have an Egg McMuffin made from egg whites. We've also learned that there's a video of Gabby Douglas incognito in Times Square literally flipping to promote them. And we want that. We want it right now, but it's after 10:30 a.m., which you have decided is the universal end of breakfast time despite the fact that some of us have only been awake for an hour.
We're aware we could make our own sandwich out of English muffins and egg whites, and we're sure it would be delicious. But there's a something so much more compelling about eating food that you know has been engineered -- from mouth feel to aftertaste -- to be irresistible and addictive.
This is bush league stuff, McDonald's. Get your head in the game.