National Sports Lounge: Sports Bar, Ultra-Lounge ... Or Plan B For Would-Be Strippers?

Each week City of Ate will give you the lowdown on a local happy hour in Quittin' Time, with the details on why you should or shouldn't take up the featured bar or restaurant on its drink specials.

Where: National Sports Lounge (music warning), 3606 Greenville Ave., 214-887-9500

When: 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday currently; may be extended, as the restaurant has plans to serve lunch on weekdays beginning next week.

What: $2 domestic drafts, plus: $2 You-Call-Its Mondays; $3 wells, $2 domestics and $8 pitchers Tuesdays; half-price appetizers Mondays and Tuesdays; $1 select drafts and 2-for-1 burgers Wednesdays.

Why or why not:
There are a few types of people who will fit right in at National Sports Lounge. If you're a dude who spikes your bleach-blond hair into a fauxhawk to deflect attention away from the freakish 'roid-induced growth of your skull, you and your Ed Hardy shirt will love NSL. And if you're the kind of girl who's willing to expose a little flesh to convince these walking clichés to buy you drinks, then you, too, will feel at home.

Otherwise, it might be a long night -- even if those are some pretty cheap drinks.

Though there is only one location, the money spent on sports-related decorations, a mural of hot chicks in referee outfits and a claimed 57 high-definition TV screens -- not to mention the skimpy servers' uniforms -- give NSL the look of a Hooters-esque breastaurant chain.

But you probably aren't going to see a Hooters bartender take shots with customers or let a wasted female sidle up to her behind the bar and convince her to give patrons a nipple flash. That flash of perfectly spherical man-made mammary was almost enough to absolve her from a distinct preference for favored customers; earlier in the evening, she'd ignored repeated requests for a beer and finally, after about 15 minutes, finally asked for the order again, stared blankly for a few seconds, then huffed "Is that all?"

Despite the impressive array of TV screens, the place doesn't seem to have made up its mind whether it's a sports bar or ultra-lounge. An NBA playoff game was playing on most screens, but with the sound muted in favor of a DJ's selection of club house and hip-hop. The only thing keeping it from being irredeemably generic is the large patio and its open-air bar.

If you've done enough curls, bench presses and lat pulldowns to make yourself visible to any of the tanned, teased and siliconed size-zero servers, have a blast listening to seasoned gold-diggers give sorority girls advice on discerning which of the male customers have money and which are poseurs.

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Jesse Hughey
Contact: Jesse Hughey