Oink And Moo Barbecue Will Kill Us All, But Especially Me

The concept of a mobile barbecue food truck, which may appear next to me at any moment in any situation, is a health danger on a par with snakes, shoddily constructed buildings and being fired out of a cannon into the sun. Especially snakes. I really hate snakes. Previously, I would have had to drive some distance to get barbecue, and as such my laziness has been the only thing stopping me dying of both heart disease and poverty.

Anyway, I fear that, to borrow an old Simpsons joke, the owner of this truck could just follow me around and put his kids through college. This might be a challenge, I suppose, as I am a mysterious sort, but it's not a challenge if he seemingly has access to my schedule and decides to spend his Friday nights parked outside of Craft and Growler, the excellent new bar opposite Fair Park where I recently have been spending a fair amount of my weekends. Where next? Parking outside of other barbecue restaurants? Pubs that show soccer games? If he finds out where I work or live, I'm ruined.

Damn you, world. Curse you, delicious beer and smoked meat. Fuck you, snakes. I am on the downward slope to the poorhouse and the hospital, and no-one is to blame except Oink and Moo BBQ. My last remaining hope was that their barbecue would be terrible, and even though that would upset me, I would be distinctly richer, able to climb stairs, and I would still be in a convenient location to drink to forget.

Alas, it was very impressive indeed, and even featured some menu items that my companion for the evening (not like that) the sensei of Texas barbecue, the Yoda of brisket, the Big Cheese of Beef, Daniel Vaughn, hadn't seen before. Well one, anyway, the deeply Texan chicken-fried brisket, enough to clog the arteries of even the healthiest man. It's much juicier than chicken-fried bacon, thankfully, and even comes with your choice of a gravy or barbecue sauce dip, which just rubs it in, so to speak.

As for the standard meats, they were much smokier than a food truck has any right to be, and indeed when you order you can get a delicious blast of smoke when the smoker gets opened to remove the meat. Brisket, sausage, both perfectly acceptable. No sign of ribs yet, but there's easily enough to be going on with. They could improve a bit (according to Daniel, the brisket was a little underdone) but it's a brand new food truck, and could end up being a terrifying powerhouse of heart disease. There were even burnt ends, and the mac and cheese had bacon in it. It was seriously better than a number of fixed location barbecue spots I've eaten at recently. You can even take all the meat inside and get a delicious craft beer to accompany it. The prices aren't outrageous. You can chant the name. It has everything.

It's a match made in Texan heaven. Texas craft beer and Texas barbecue. Save my life by buying up so much of both that I can't get any.

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Gavin Cleaver
Contact: Gavin Cleaver