Wait, where's the bacon on this thing?
Wait, where's the bacon on this thing?

On This Meatless Monday, an Avid Carnivore Prepares for a Week of Veganhood

I just consumed my last meal, consisting of a deliciously bloody flat iron steak with Boursin cheese and caramelized onions cooked in bacon fat, topped off with a fried egg also cooked in bacon fat.

I'm not being marched off to my execution, though -- my fate is slightly less final and significantly more voluntary. I'm going vegan for a week.

That's right: No animal products for seven days. Why the hell am I doing this? Lately my eating habits have taken a turn for the worse; I love and do eat fruits and vegetables but recently my diet's been dominated by an excess of meat, cheese and carbs. I'm hoping to do a system reboot of sorts by avoiding meat and dairy (and honey and so on ) for one week and then slowly reintroducing them. (Then again, the moment it's over I might hightail it to Wingfield's for a stupidly ginormous bacon burger. I'm not making any promises.)

I'm kinda-sorta-not-really-at-all prepared for this; I haven't gone grocery shopping in a while so the fridge is mostly bare. I have almond milk for my morning coffee, and a batch of vegan banana muffins (no eggs, vegetable oil instead of butter) in the oven as we speak. That should carry me through to the afternoon; after that, your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell I'm going to eat.

I'm browsing recipe sites and cooking blogs, bookmarking vegan recipes and making a grocery list. I'm looking forward to revisiting Spiral Diner and checking out the V-Spot; I hear Cane Rosso's got vegan pizza with soy cheese, too. I'm pretty confident that I can do this; I've had something like seventeen Meatless Mondays already, so seven in a row shouldn't be too hard, right? (If I sound like I'm desperately trying to reassure myself, it's because I am.)

The biggest obstacle I foresee is actually not myself but other people. I often go out to eat with friends during the week, and our usual destinations aren't quite vegan-friendly--I'm pretty sure Off-Site Kitchen has nary a vegan item on the menu, and I would doubt my willpower in the presence of a 48 hour smoked brisket sandwich anyway. My boyfriend refuses to eat a meatless meal, let alone step foot inside a vegan restaurant. Complete social avoidance may actually be the key to my success this week.

I take solace in one simple fact, though: alcohol is largely vegan by default. All my beloved cocktails are fair game, as long as I avoid those with honey or egg whites. If all else fails, I can have Oreos (which are oddly enough, totally vegan, along with all this other crap) and a couple gin and tonics and call it a day.

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >