Thanksgiving's coming up, and that means a whole table full of traditional sides and desserts that only the adults at the table really seem to enjoy. It's true: Thanksgiving dinner is like Old Man Food Heaven. Disagree? That's probably because you're super old in Thanksgiving years.
Take our What's Your Thanksgiving Age? quiz after the jump and see how many old points you score.
- 1. Brussels sprouts. The classic kid-hated veggie. If you like them, you're old. If you know how to spell them, you're even older. Old points: +10 pts. +1 more if you knew how to spell "Brussels sprout." +5 more if you said, "Does anyone not know how to spell Brussels sprout??"
2. Canned cranberry sauce. Kids hate them because they look like Jell-O and taste like a cruel joke. You must like them because you can rip your dentures right out and just gum away. Wow, you're so old. Old points: +10 points. +5 more if part of the reason you like eating canned cranberries is that, "You can still see the ridges from the can!"
- 3. Yams. Even though Mom makes that "candied yams" casserole, trying to fool the kids into eating veggies, all most kids eat is the marshmallow topping. If you're a yam fan, you're officially old. Deal. Old points: +10 points if you like yams. +50 more if you know the difference between yams and sweet potatoes. Minus 30 points if you just said, "There's a difference between yams and sweet potatoes?"
4. Beets. Pretty sure these are made every year as a dare food. Love 'em? Old points: +10 points. Plus 20 more for every health-related reason you would give in defense of why you like eating beets.
- 5. Mincemeat pie. The dessert that eats like a steak. Mmmmmm. You can taste the old man in it. Old points: +10 points. Plus 10 more if you usually go back for seconds.
Now, total up your points to find your Thanksgiving age:
Total points: 0-10 Kid Table You're 5 Thanksgiving years old. You stick to mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. (Only regular kind, none of that weird blue cheese potato crap. Because, eew.) You're also a picky bitch, which means you're sitting at the crusts-cut-off-my-bread, no-beer table.
Total points: 11-30 Adult Table You like to dabble in the old people food, but you're not completely ancient just yet. Careful, though. You add one more weird, old people veggie or casserole to the list and you're at The Walker Table.
Total points: 31+ The Walker Table You're approximately a million Thanksgiving years old, which you will now explain to everyone isn't even historically possible. You'll eat everything at the table and gush about how those dang beets are so delicious while everyone else gives you the stink eye. Congrats. You'll eat anything.
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