If a Kickstarter project out of California gets its way, you could soon be hitting on a robot when you just want a motherslugging drink, for the LOVE of God. On Wednesday, Eater National reported on the efforts of Party Robotics, a gaggle of drunk nerds who need a very large stack of cash to fund their Bartendro system, a cocktail dispensing robot.
Bartendro is a series of tubes and beeps and lights and something called a peristaltic pump that all work together with science and the Internet to precisely measure out the perfect amount of booze and non-carbonated mixers into your glass -- including an expertly mixed Kamikae, which they describe as "more tangy than being a terrorist." Pause for nervous laughter. Moving on! According to their Kickstarter page, they need $135,000 to fund Bartendro. So far, they've received more than $70,000 in pledges.
If you happen to have $10,000 taped to the back of your toilet, you can get the full version of Bartendro, custom built with a maximum of 15 dispensers and your choice of colored wires and paneling. Or you could pledge $5 and get a sticker of a robot serving a martini ... a robot that looks a little like Rosie from The Jetsons but I'm not cartoon lawyer. Best whip out the ol' credit card if you want Bartendro to be your new best friend, they only have a few weeks to reach their goal.
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Here's the good news if you're an alkie on a budget: You can get a more reasonable version of the Bartendro for a mere $500, all you need to supply is your own smartphone or tablet. Per the data on their website, 32 people have already taken advantage of this opportunity. Should you partake, in early May you could be drinking alone with your very own robot. Listening to Morrissey. And pulling all the shredded lettuce out of your Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco.