Ruffles is Going to Rock the Eyes Out of Your Skull With Hot Chicks and Ultimate Ruffles

Bros, aren't you pumped? Let's get effing pumped, bros. Why? Because Ruffles Ultimate Fucking Ruffles is "giving guys their first taste of the Ultimate party."

Whose biceps undulated when you heard that? Mine did, like a goddamn ocean. It's gonna be unapologetic. You see, Ruffles Ultimate Potato Chips and Ruffles Ultimate dips are holding a contest. The winner of this contest will get to eat a whole shitload of fucking like, jalapeno ranch beef chips and shit, with, like, a bunch of freaking awesome chicks from Maxim. The Maxim 100. Bro, you know how awesome this is? I just screamed so loud my eye went bloodshot.

All you have to do is:

Submit a story about the most epic time you and your bros had together and if your story is selected, Ruffles® Ultimate Potato Chips and Dips will get you and three of your best buddies on a flight, put you up at a hotel, and get you into the legendary Maxim Hot 100 party.

Aside from not being able to remember the last I had a good time without ruffled chips, there's male bonding involved. YEAH DUDE, YEAH! Male bonding, according to the press release, is a "rite of passage."

You're goddamn right. And there better be some Beef N' Cheese dip involved.

Apparently, "the chips rock twice the size and depth of the ridges in original Ruffles chip," and, AND, you'll be able to celebrate those "thick, deep ridges" by shoving them in your face alongside "MAXIM's world's most beautiful women."

There'll be ranch everywhere, you guys.

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Nick Rallo
Contact: Nick Rallo