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The Cheap Bastard For The Win: The Week in Unicorn Farts and Dallas Food

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The weekend is here, and it promises to be a good one with the Big Texas Beer Fest offering craft brews for the masses. I'm sure you guys want to get it started as much as I do, but first there's a week to wrap.

This week I reviewed Company Cafe. The restaurant has some great qualities and will hopefully work through its growing pains, but for now there are just too many better places to eat.

Elsewhere, Alice "the Cheap Bastard" Laussade took over the entire Observer in true ball-busting, boob-slapping, unicorn-fart fashion. If you haven't picked up a print copy, do.

We also ate a beaver burger, which Twisted Root stands behind as 100 percent pink-slime free. I ate with discretion though. I did not get burger wasted. Alex, on the other hand, was likely pork bun wasted after completing his Dim Sum pictorial.

Over at the Morning News, Leslie Brenner reviewed the Porch and ate a ton of burgers. I ate that Porch burger once. It's heavy.

Crave has a new first look at Southern Breeze Market Café that's mouthwatering. I might have to take a ride out to Keller soon. Chicken salad in a bucket sounds like a winner.

On Texas Eats, Robb Walsh attempts to ferment chilies to make his own hot sauce. I've seen the crock he's playing with turn out some killer kraut, but Walsh's new application looks interesting. Have any of you guys played with a Gärtopf fermenting crock? Help the guy out.

Pig roast anyone? The Glut Life threw a party last weekend and blogged the hell out of it. Looks like a nice pig. Consider it inspiration for your own weekend pork fest.

Speaking of weekends, this one starts right now. Come back next week for food truck reviews, burger hype and an update on the Oak Cliff Pixies of Pie. And remember, if the Cheap Bastard isn't making mom-boning jokes about your restaurant, you're just not trying hard enough.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.